Celebrate Children 5k Update #2

It's a rainy fall day, dark and overcast. And I've been itching to blog for a long time. I've had so many projects, Etsy orders and work assignments that I haven't had a break in quite some time. But today, today is a day to write!

So much has happened since my last 5k update and our first meeting. Our committee has grown from five women to eight. We've surpassed our goal of $1,500 donated in corporate sponsorship money. We have a Compassion graduate who once suffered from a lack of clean water coming to the race. Exciting things are coming down the pike. And some amazing stories have come out of our two months of planning that I hope to tell later.

And, yet. 

Yet, the dark night of the soul keeps pushing in. That point in which the dream is no longer as exciting. When I start to wonder if I've got the energy to see this thing through, even though we're not even half-way there. I look at the work and the challenges to overcome and I can't help but be weighed down. Not knowing if we'll keep getting rejections from businesses or if runners will even show up on race day. Not knowing what to expect as we market or register or network.

But, God. 

Last night, I was on a webinar panel for Compassion discussing the process of starting the 5k race. At the end, the organizer asked all of us panelists what we wish someone had said to us at the beginning of our projects. I was speaking more to myself than to the audience when I talked about how Satan wants nothing more than for these children to suffer horrible diseases - to even die. Of course, obstacles will be flung my way. It shouldn't surprise me that I feel like this is an endless cycle of tasks. What we are doing is worth something. And if I have to suffer in a pile of rejection emails and unstuffed goodie bags for children to be safe, then so be it. So be it.

My job is to be faithful to God, through the dark night of the soul and the bright sunshine of success. Wouldn't that scare our enemy the most? To see someone discouraged and frustrated to just keep going? To keep marching forward, not understanding why such struggle is before them and trust God to find a way? Perhaps that's real courage.

I don't know, friends. I'm still learning. But all I know is that I'm just going to keep on marching, keep on planning, keep on hitting obstacles and praying for a way around them, trusting that God is bigger.

Compassion 5k run update #1

On Thursday last week, crazy things happened. They might not have been things worthy of a book, a newspaper article, or even something you would tell a friend. 

But for me, they were wild, out of control, make me smile from deep within things that pound my heart.

I met with our 5k planning committee. It wasn't even the full committee. Only half could make it but we started setting the ball into motion. 

This idea that I had to help build a well is actually happening. 

We have a name. 

We have a date. 

We have a location. 

We have a strategy. 

Already, God is teaching me lessons. 

I saw on Thursday how powerful working as a team can be. These women have ideas that I would have never thought of. They have creativity that goes in directions that mine doesn't. 

I'm also learning that many times, people want to help. They just don't want to start things.  I love starting things. It means that I can dream big ideas. But, I often have trouble implementing and following through on my dreams. Having a team forces me to keep going and even, to give the dream that extra oomph to make it grow.

Before, I was hesitant to even work with a team. It could mean that "my" dream morphs into something that I don't want. Or I'll have to make compromises. 

And maybe those things are true and they might happen. I don't know. 

But what I do know is that dreams and life, really, aren't meant to be done alone. We need each other to make them happen, to feel alive and productive. 

I would have never learned that if I had stayed curled up with just a dream and a notebook. 

As soon as we are officially in the books with the city, I'll let you guys in on the name, date, and even our logo. It's so dang amazing!!

Thanks for following along. I'm learning so much already and I will definitely keep you guys posted! ;) 

Has anyone else seen the value of a team before in their lives? Has it ever scared you to work with a team? Or am I just crazy?

growing guts

Friends,

Does anyone else have as much trouble with fleshing out creative ideas as much as me?!

What happens to me is I'll get an idea. It's an idea that I'm certain will make the world flip inside out. I mull it over, think about it, strategize, become consumed by it...for a day or two. Then, at the very hint of an obstacle, I abandon the idea and think it was stupid. And then it's onto the next idea.

I realize that part of this is the brainstorming process. But when this happens for every idea, it becomes counter-productive.

The other night, I had a bit of a mental break down. And when I say "mental breakdown", I actually mean a pity party. I bemoaned frustrations and struggles in my life, you know, the usual run of the mill pity party stuff.

My husband, the sweet man that he is, gently and calmly got in my face. I had an idea to start a 5k race to benefit Compassion International. Our town loves 5k races and the income generated is often high. I had a vision of starting a 5k race and using the money to help build a well in El Salvador. I talked about it for a week or two, but then the excitement started to die down. I knew that it would be work. It would mean potential rejection from businesses for corporate sponsorships. It meant potential difficult runners. It meant a risk. And I didn't want the risk. I wanted to stay in my safe bubble where I could dream and not do.

My husband graciously told me to get my rear in gear. It's easy to complain about "not knowing what God wants me to do" instead of walking and trusting. Dreaming is easy. Trust is hard. Doing is hard.

But that's been my challenge in 2013. My two word motto for this year was to "make mistakes." I wanted to do, to move, to be active. And it's a struggle - more than I thought that it would be. Without realizing it, I was being stagnant.

The next day after my pity party, I decided to take a few small steps and asked two more people to join the team to make the 5k happen. I emailed Compassion. And you know what happened? Beautiful things.

The two people were overjoyed at the idea that I would ask them to help. Compassion emailed me back within the next few hours with a 70+ page document on how to specifically plan a 5k race. And now, we've got our first planning meeting on the books with my five person planning committee.

Holy guacamole, ladies. God is crazy. Over and over again in this season of my life, I'm finding how much I dream and then, crazy enough, how much I complain that the dream doesn't magically grow legs and sprint from my brain into reality. That takes time and it takes guts. I'm growing guts, I promise. Just takes a little bit longer than I'd like.

What about you, friends? Do you feel this way too or am I just crazy?