Friday, August 9, 2013

growing guts


Does anyone else have as much trouble with fleshing out creative ideas as much as me?!

What happens to me is I'll get an idea. It's an idea that I'm certain will make the world flip inside out. I mull it over, think about it, strategize, become consumed by it...for a day or two. Then, at the very hint of an obstacle, I abandon the idea and think it was stupid. And then it's onto the next idea.

I realize that part of this is the brainstorming process. But when this happens for every idea, it becomes counter-productive.

The other night, I had a bit of a mental break down. And when I say "mental breakdown", I actually mean a pity party. I bemoaned frustrations and struggles in my life, you know, the usual run of the mill pity party stuff.

My husband, the sweet man that he is, gently and calmly got in my face. I had an idea to start a 5k race to benefit Compassion International. Our town loves 5k races and the income generated is often high. I had a vision of starting a 5k race and using the money to help build a well in El Salvador. I talked about it for a week or two, but then the excitement started to die down. I knew that it would be work. It would mean potential rejection from businesses for corporate sponsorships. It meant potential difficult runners. It meant a risk. And I didn't want the risk. I wanted to stay in my safe bubble where I could dream and not do.

My husband graciously told me to get my rear in gear. It's easy to complain about "not knowing what God wants me to do" instead of walking and trusting. Dreaming is easy. Trust is hard. Doing is hard.

But that's been my challenge in 2013. My two word motto for this year was to "make mistakes." I wanted to do, to move, to be active. And it's a struggle - more than I thought that it would be. Without realizing it, I was being stagnant.

The next day after my pity party, I decided to take a few small steps and asked two more people to join the team to make the 5k happen. I emailed Compassion. And you know what happened? Beautiful things.

The two people were overjoyed at the idea that I would ask them to help. Compassion emailed me back within the next few hours with a 70+ page document on how to specifically plan a 5k race. And now, we've got our first planning meeting on the books with my five person planning committee.

Holy guacamole, ladies. God is crazy. Over and over again in this season of my life, I'm finding how much I dream and then, crazy enough, how much I complain that the dream doesn't magically grow legs and sprint from my brain into reality. That takes time and it takes guts. I'm growing guts, I promise. Just takes a little bit longer than I'd like.

What about you, friends? Do you feel this way too or am I just crazy?


  1. Mikaela, this post gives me happy tears. I love that you're stepping out--literally and with your heart too. Go get 'em, friend! We're cheering for you! :)

    1. Oh, Holley! Thanks so much for your encouragement. It means to much to me! I'll keep you guys posted. ;)

  2. Hi Mikaela - This sounds so amazing. I know you are in the planning stages and I feel compelled to help. I live in Mansfield too and know how our town is with 5k's. I'm a graphic designer and artist and feel that my talents can help you. Please let me know what I can do.

    1. Wow! What a small world we live in. :) I'm going to send you an email and we can start talking. Thanks so much for reaching out to me!