Wednesday, October 30, 2013
So much has happened since my last 5k update and our first meeting. Our committee has grown from five women to eight. We've surpassed our goal of $1,500 donated in corporate sponsorship money. We have a Compassion graduate who once suffered from a lack of clean water coming to the race. Exciting things are coming down the pike. And some amazing stories have come out of our two months of planning that I hope to tell later.
Yet, the dark night of the soul keeps pushing in. That point in which the dream is no longer as exciting. When I start to wonder if I've got the energy to see this thing through, even though we're not even half-way there. I look at the work and the challenges to overcome and I can't help but be weighed down. Not knowing if we'll keep getting rejections from businesses or if runners will even show up on race day. Not knowing what to expect as we market or register or network.
Last night, I was on a webinar panel for Compassion discussing the process of starting the 5k race. At the end, the organizer asked all of us panelists what we wish someone had said to us at the beginning of our projects. I was speaking more to myself than to the audience when I talked about how Satan wants nothing more than for these children to suffer horrible diseases - to even die. Of course, obstacles will be flung my way. It shouldn't surprise me that I feel like this is an endless cycle of tasks. What we are doing is worth something. And if I have to suffer in a pile of rejection emails and unstuffed goodie bags for children to be safe, then so be it. So be it.
My job is to be faithful to God, through the dark night of the soul and the bright sunshine of success. Wouldn't that scare our enemy the most? To see someone discouraged and frustrated to just keep going? To keep marching forward, not understanding why such struggle is before them and trust God to find a way? Perhaps that's real courage.
I don't know, friends. I'm still learning. But all I know is that I'm just going to keep on marching, keep on planning, keep on hitting obstacles and praying for a way around them, trusting that God is bigger.