I've been thinking a lot about being an entrepreneur these days. Ever since setting out on my own about 10 months ago, I've contemplated what this all even means. Some days, I feel like I've got this under control. I'm up and productive and other days, like today, I'm still in my pajamas, staring blankly at my planner.
Being an entrepreneur is deep in my veins. My mom started her own business over 10 years ago in a corner of her bedroom. It has since spread to its own location, several employees, and working closely with one of the largest retailers in the country. Growing up, I saw the freedom that having your own business can give you. The location of the business was in a cute little trailer in the back of our 4 acre property. Every morning, my mom would walk back to the office and work. She would walk back for lunch and then brisk back with her sandwich in hand for the afternoon. Her schedule was flexible and she had such freedom to go to our games, plays, and other events. I never knew my mom having a normal 8-5er. And when I was in high school, my dad quit his job and joined her. I saw what having a normal job did to him; he was constantly stressed. But working with my mom, they were here and happy.
Even my own grandma was an entrepreneur of sorts. She had 15 children - all with one man and no twins or triplets. She's over 80 now and has had two heart attacks. Until recently, she's lived alone and still gardens. So, really, she's just an insanely strong woman. I have a big legacy of people who have done remarkable things.
So maybe that's why I feel an entrepreneurial tug. I never saw myself as one who would start a business. But, looking back, it makes sense. I saw the freedom that owning a business can create. And really, being an entrepreneur requires a heap of creativity. You're creating and making and doing.
But I often fear being an entrepreneur. As an introvert, I don't like putting myself out there. I never know the line between networking and being desperate/clingy/needy. And then there's the problem of always a million ideas running through my head and determining which ones are actually any good.
But it's something that I can't get rid of. For years, I tried to convince myself that I was happy in an office, working for some one else. Even now, I still have days where I tell myself that I would be much more normal and happier if I just quit all of this nonsense and go back to a normal office. It doesn't take me long to remember, though, my 2 hour commuting days and the dreaded feeling of walking into the office and plopping into my chair for yet another day of answering phones.
Being an entrepreneur is hard, very hard. But often, the hardest things are the ones worth doing. So, I keep marching on with my millions of ideas and full acknowledgment that some days, I just don't know what I'm doing. And I keep looking forward to the future, to making mistakes, to taking action, to see what the next day holds.
In other news, I'm excited to post week 2 of learning your camera on Friday! We'll be talking about lenses this time around, which you won't want to miss. There's power in your lens and if used properly, you can get stunning images. If you've missed week 1, you can see it here. Hope to see you on Friday!